give me

the amount of things i get asked for on a daily basis by zambians is pretty absurd.

at the events we host, we all wear our grassroot soccer tshirts, and i get asked for one of them (or even mine off my back) no less than 10 times each event. and it isn't a nice, "oh, do you have any extra tshirts i could have?" instead, it is, "give me a tshirt," or "give me your tshirt." it is almost as if there is a sense of entitlement where they think they deserve my tshirt.

the same goes with food and drinks. we provide food and drinks for our staff and testing partners at our events. but, the kids can see it being stored in the classroom and constantly coming up asking for food and drinks. they will come up and say, "give me water," or motion to their mouth and rub their bellies to indicate they're hungry. the worst is when you get people come up and say they are hiv positive and they deserve food, and if you don't give it to them you are going to be the cause of them getting sicker. it is a tough thing to tell someone no when they say that to you.

but, there is no way to pick and choose who to give things to. it is dangerous. if you give a drink to one kid, and others see, it will cause a mass chaos chain effect and everyone will want one.

i remember our very first event we hosted. after it was all over, we had boxes of extra meat pies, like 200 extra meat pies, and we weren't sure what to do with them. as we were leaving the venue, there was a group of 10 girls, probably around 15 or 16 years old, standing with a couple of our coaches. we offered them meat pies and they came running in a stampede to the car. i unfortunately was the one with the box of pies in my lap. they all slammed up against my door and about 15 hands flew through the window grabbing at the meat pies. keep in mind there were more than enough meat pies to go around, but the idea of free food put them in a frenzy. i initially was trying to hand each of them one, but when i lifted a meat pie up, about 5 hands would go for it and would end up squishing the meat pies (squished meat pies are not a great thing to have all over you, your hands, and the car haha). i gave up on trying to hand them out and just let them grab at them in the box through the window. the aftermath was meat pies all over the place. and the ones that were left in the box were all crumbled up and destroyed. it was one of the craziest things i've ever seen - that free meat pies sent these girls into such a mad rush.

when i was in the refugee camp i got asked for things a lot as well since resources are scarce. little kids who barely spoke any english would come up and say, "give me money." i think that may have been the only english they knew because when i would try to talk to them and explain i didn't have any money on me, they just gave me a blank stare in return.

we had an electrician come a few weeks ago to fix our hot water switch and he asked me about getting a grassroot soccer tshirt. i said i would work on it (though i reality i was never going to get him a grassroot soccer tshirt...the tshirts are mostly kept for staff and coaches because when wearing it around town, people recognize grassroot soccer, so the people who wear them need to uphold our organization's reputation. if that makes sense. and not in a snobby way at all). anyways, he came back the other day to fix something else in our house and he asked me again about the tshirt. it is so weird to me that he wants a tshirt because i guarantee he has no idea what grassroot soccer even does; he just saw all of us wearing them so he wanted one for himself.

even our coaches, who are well brought up and well educated ask me for things. more tshirts. my jewelry. my water bottle. it gets tiring at times having to constantly say "no." especially when many time you could afford to give a little kid 2,000 zmk, which is like 50 cents, and that would make a difference to that kid. but when you're asked 10 times a day, you get a bit jaded and it is instinct to just say no. a little disheartening.

another reason i get frustrated is because i know they are only asking me because i am white. on the way up to the refugee camp it was me, alice, mike, and then 4 zambians. we stopped in a town on the way to grab some food. alice, mike, and i (the mzungus, white people), didn't get any food, but all the zambians had big take away trays of fried chicken and chips. as we were sitting in the parking lot waiting for the bus driver, people kept coming up to the window asking alice, mike, and i for food. we were obviously not eating and had no food on us. on the other hand, all the zambians were sitting right next to us chowing down on their chicken, but were never asked for food. it's so bizarre, but i've gotten used to it.

it is something i was warned about before coming, buy dealing with it everyday is another story.