testing and stigma

i like to get tested at our events every couple months. i do it to be reminded of how the process feels, set an example for the kids and other staff/volunteers, and because it is a good life habit to get myself into.

so, i got tested this past saturday at our graduation event. in the past, i've always gotten tested by our main testing partner, tiny tim and friends. i know most of the testers and counselors for them, so they do it very informally. do my finger prick, and then we just sit chatting about random stuff while waiting for the results.

this past saturday, however, i got tested through another one of our testing partners, cidrz, which is more of a government run testing organization. they have different testing counselors come each time to our events, so i haven't gotten to know them and they don't know me. because of this, it was a very different testing experience than in the past because they treated me like any other random person getting tested.

it was very insightful to go through the formal testing experience. the testing counselor sat me down, and before doing the testing, we had a 10 minute conversation/lecture about hiv and aids. she asked me basic questions about hiv and aids to see how much i knew. talked to me about how the test works, how to keep myself safe from contracting hiv, what happens if i test positive, how to get support, treatment, and live a healthy life if i test positive, etc. it was fairly thorough, and the testing counselor was very educated about the topic which was reassuring.

the receiving of the test results were a little weird. when the result appeared on the piece of paper, she threw it into the hazard bin without saying anything, wrote down my result on the piece of paper, folded it up, and handed it to me. she told me i had to read it out loud to make sure i accepted whatever my status may be. i can understand why it is important, especially if you test positive, to read the result aloud and fully understand its implications. but it seemed a bit odd as i was going through it.

i remember mentioning this in a blog post after the first time i got tested, but it is crazy how nervous i get when getting tested even though i really have no need to be worried. i can't imagine how scary of a process it has to be if i thought there was the possibility i was going to test positive. i can very easily understand why so many people are scared to get tested, which is something we are constantly struggling with at grassroot soccer. also, many zambians are not fully educated about hiv and aids, and they don't realize you can get treated through taking arv's and live a normal, healthy life even if you hiv positive. many think once you get infected, your life is over for the most part, so they would rather not know their status.

also, there is so much stigma in zambia associated with hiv and aids and getting tested, which is a main problem we struggle with. people are nervous even going into clinics to get tested because they are afraid people they know will see them going into the clinics; and when you are seen going into the clinic to get tested, it is many times assumed by others that you are hiv positive and/or you are sleeping around which is why you are needing to get tested. there is also a lot of stigma around hiv positive people: that they are sinners, sleep around, are being punished, that you can catch the virus just by hanging around them or touching them, etc.

this stigma is the reason so many zambians don't get tested. they would rather not know their status, so they can at least pretend to go on living a normal life and no one will judge them or treat them differently. they would rather die from aids than deal with the stigma and ridicule they would potentially face if they tested positive, even though they could get treatment to make them live a much longer life. it is such a crazy way of thinking and viewing life.

the main reasons for the spread of hiv in zambia are: 1) multiple concurrent partners. many zambian men aren't faithful in their relationships, sleep around, and infect other women 2) younger girls dating older men (sugar daddies). they date older men for the financial stability and because the men buy them presents, etc. however, it is a problem because these older men have many times had lots of sexual partners, and they infect the younger girls.

until these behaviors change, hiv and aids won't stop spreading in zambia. it is difficult, though, because it is part of their culture, which isn't something you can easily change. these are some of the main ideas we focus on through our grs skillz curriculum.